Do you believe in yourself

Do you believe in yourself?


Do you believe in yourself
Torah Portion EMOR – Vayikra (Leviticus) 21:1-24:23

Loved ones, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, just as it is well with your soul. 3 John 2 TLV

Shabbat shalom dearly beloved!

One Shabbat I was resting and fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit when I realized that I was really, really sad. When I connected with the source of my grief after prayer, I understood that I was grieved because I thought that no one had really believed in me enough to invest in my musical success. What I did not understand yet Yah (God) revealed to me as I wept before Him: I had not believed in myself!

My Creator endowed me with many gifts including writing, singing, composing music, teaching, preaching, acting and many others. I especially realized that the beautiful music and songs that the Almighty had given me were not being used enough and they were known by very few. Why was that?

I thought that no one had really believed in me and I had good reasons to think that way. When I was an eight and nine years old I was studying guitar and singing; however, my mother chose to remove me from those music lessons that would have assured my successful musical future. She did this because I used to get hoarse and lose my voice. The doctor at the time had warned her that I will have permanent damage to my vocal chords if I would proceed with singing. These were the 60’s and there was a lot of ignorance then. My mom used to say that I was a “singing baby”. Whenever they took me on my baby cot to a restaurant all the people would come to see the wonder of such a small baby just a few months old singing and melodizing. However, she loved me and out of her concern for my wellbeing she killed my hope to ever be good enough in the musical arena. I tried my best to proceed on my own with no one believing in me, but indeed I had a flaw and used to get hoarse. My voice was beautiful and warm, it ministered to people’s hearts and souls, but I could not use it too much or my vocal chords would suffer. What is worse than that I lost faith in myself in the musical arena — but thankfully I never lost my song.

Yes

Messiah Yeshua revealed Himself to me at the age of 28 after a serious family and personal tragedy. When I said “YES” to Him, I told Him that I was willing to do anything He wanted with my very broken life. At that time I had almost nothing left of my past life. I had lost everything except my Spanish guitar that my amazing Dad, Professor Hiram Albala, had bought me (when we were on our way to Israel to make Alyah in October of 1970). The Italian ship docked in Barcelona, Spain for about 7 hours and he spent those 7 hours in a taxi together with all of us, going from guitar shop to guitar shop in order to buy me the best Spanish guitar he could find in Barcelona. I never asked him why he believed in my ability to do something with music — since his wife (my mom) did not believe in it and had removed me from all music classes and aspirations. What did my precious Dad see? The fact is that instead of enjoying Barcelona for himself, he spent it in a taxi to gift me the best possible guitar I could ever have. Truly I have never had a better one! This guitar accompanied me for about 17 years and the marks and dents on it could tell you the story of my life and every tear ever shed. It was my constant companion in all the ups and downs of my life.

When Yeshua came to pick up the pieces of my broken existence and remake me into His image and likeness, I wanted to give my guitar away to someone that would amount to something in the musical arena. I was not going to give a mediocre gift to my Messiah. I was convinced that I could never be good enough to bring Him glory with my voice and music. I had already planned to give it away to a believer in Israel that was very musical. It was then I heard the unmistakable voice of my Father in Heaven forbidding me to give my guitar away because He wanted to use me, my voice and my guitar. I was shocked! How could He ever use my voice with my flawed vocal chords?

Against my better judgment I obeyed Him and kept my historical guitar. Soon after, the man that was to become my husband (Rabbi Baruch Bierman) and I started to minister to the mentally sick in a psychiatric hospital in Israel where my younger brother was hospitalized after a breakdown in the Army. We did services under the trees on the grass and I would play the guitar — Rabbi would share the Word and we had a light picnic with them. I knew that these highly medicated and hurting people would not care if I sounded perfect or not; they just needed someone to love them unconditionally and we were that “someone”. They loved my guitar and singing and became a very supportive audience. Indeed Yah was using my voice and my guitar to bring love and healing to others. Many of them were saved and quite a few were even released from the hospital after we laid hands of them and “the voices stopped” — they were delivered. One of them got married and the wedding was amazing!

Many years later, I found myself again playing my guitar and singing in another mental hospital of Israel when a loved one was hospitalized there. Throughout the many times that I visited the hospital the people would gather around me and their faces would beam as I sang along with them and for them, even teaching them some of my new songs about Messiah. Again Yah was using me, my voice and my guitar to bring healing and hope to people that had none. They did not care if I was perfect or not; they just needed someone to love them, to pay attention to them and to bring hope. The Spirit of Adonai would move to bring revelation to their hurting hearts and truth to their tormented minds.

Archbishop Dominiquae Bierman

With time I began to receive many, many songs from the Most-High and I even recorded four albums; however, I have many more songs not yet recorded (more than have already been recorded). Other people that were suffering in their minds began to tell me that my music helped them. I remember one particular girl in the youth ward of another mental hospital in Israel. She was an orphan and had no family — she was in deep depression. I gifted her one of my CD’s called URU (Awake). This was the first CD I recorded and it was almost completely in Hebrew. They were all new songs given to me by the Holy Spirit. This girl began to listen to my CD in her discman machine — she would pace up and down the corridors listening to my music and singing along. One day she met me and said, “When I put your music in my ears, the depression leaves me”. I was elated! Again the God of my fathers was using me in the musical arena to bring life and hope to those who had none. Eventually this precious girl was released from the hospital and they found a foster home for her. She prayed with me to accept Yeshua and then went on to her new life with new hope.

Today some of my songs are sung among those in other nations and congregations and one has even been published in an international album. However, I realize that I have not fulfilled all of my musical calling yet. For me to fulfill it I need three things to come together:

  1. Believe in The Call of Yah
  2. I have to believe in myself
  3. People with needed resources need to also believe in me

Beloveds, this is my story and it is unfinished. But think about yourself and the Call of Yah upon your life:

Do you believe in His Call upon your life? If so, do you believe in yourself? You see it is not enough for Yah to believe in you (When He calls you to do something, it conveys His vote of confidence in you!). You need to believe in yourself because He believes in you. Then you will have others that will come alongside you and help you to hit the target with your gifts, talents and calling.

In my case the music arena was the hardest place for me to believe in myself. I was programmed from childhood to fail in this arena. It has been one of the most hidden and deepest pains of my life. When we are born to do something, to be somebody, it will hurt if we are not. It will be a truncated and unfulfilled part of you. When you do not believe in yourself, in whatever area that is, no one else will believe in you either.

Do you believe in yourself

So, how can we switch from being programmed to fail to being projected to success? It is a simple but profound choice:

Come to terms with all that Yah (God) called you to be and do — see what the natural gifts and talents are that He has given you to achieve it. Assess the situation and see what obstacles are in your way: harness the obstacle as your helper not your enemy – let it be your stepping stone, not your downfall. Then go ahead to become the best version of yourself that you can be. Do not ever compare yourself with others: you are unique and your journey is unique.

Now we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

In my case the obstacle was that my vocal chords had a flaw — I used to get hoarse very quickly if I made too much effort. How can I solve this? Why would the Creator give me a voice, a musical ear and so many new songs if He did not intend me to use them for His Glory? My mom’s solution was not the correct one (and I forgave her for that), as it set me up on the path of failure. Her solution was to protect me from harming my vocal chords, but it harmed my soul deeply. Instead we must always find solutions that enable people to use their talents even if they have obstacles, flaws and setbacks. I always say that problems are only an opportunity for breakthroughs and solutions.

Today I am working on harnessing this weakness in my vocal chords to work for my good. For example, this weakness prevents me from making too much self-effort when I sing, but instead I rely more upon the anointing of the Holy Spirit. This promises that my songs will always be prophetic and will minister to the hearts and minds of people. I have to surrender to the Holy Spirit every time I sing so that it flows without undue stress on my vocal chords. I have to stay genuine in my singing with no hypocrisy and pretense, in order to sing from a place of rest and trust. In my weakness He is made strong.

For Messiah’s sake, then, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

Do you have a Calling that you feel grieved about and you have not fulfilled? Could it be that you were programmed to fail because of personal flaws and obstacles and thus you do not believe in yourself?

Believing in who He called you to be is not pride: it is a key for mental health! It is the difference between failure and success in your Life Mission.

Take time and assess the situation, then ask the Holy Spirit to help you harness those flaws or weaknesses to help you fulfill His Divine Call. Start believing in yourself just like He believes in you. Then others will come alongside you and they will help you succeed! And you will also come alongside others and you will help them succeed! Personally, I derive MUCH joy when I come alongside others and help them succeed! That is true fruitfulness and multiplication!

I believe in you— my disciple, partner and friend. I believe in Yah’s Calling upon your life and in all the gifts and talents that He bestowed upon you. All my writings are geared at making you succeed. Now I have only one request from you:

Please believe in His Call upon your life — believe in yourself and, as a result, you will succeed and you will help others succeed!

I praise You, for I am awesomely, wonderfully made! Wonderful are Your works—and my soul knows that very well. Psalm 139:14

Your Israeli Mentors and Friends

Archbishop Dominiquae and Rabbi Baruch Bierman

Enjoy my song Emche Kol Dima:

From my album Abba Shebashamayim (Digital Album soon available at www.kad-esh.org/shop/)

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Yes! by Dr. Dominiquae Bierman

Yes!

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