Torah Portion SHOFTIM – Devarim (Deuteronomy) 16:18-21:9 Haftarah: Isaiah 51:12-52:12
“His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he should be born blind?” John 9:2 TLV
Shabbat Shalom, dearly beloved!
Do you feel like you are in an endless cycle of guilt and pain? If so, this message is for you. The man who was born blind suffered a constant accusing finger of society because of his handicap. People are always trying to find the guilty party. Whether it is our sin, the sins of others, or something else, that accusing finger is pointed at us, and it is relentless and painful!
But let us follow this accusing finger until we know how to relate to it, defeat it and end the cycle of guilt in our life, once and for all!
Let us start the journey in the Garden of Eden. After Adam in female and male gender broke Yah’s Dietary Commandment, instead of owning up to their sin, they blame-shifted.
Then He said, “Who told you that you are naked? Have you eaten from the Tree from which I commanded you not to eat?” Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me—she gave me of the Tree, and I ate.” Genesis 3:11-12 TLV
Adam was standing right there next to her, but he took no responsibility. Neither did the woman.
Adonai Elohim said to the woman, “What did you do?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me and I ate.” Genesis 3:13 TLV
The first step to getting rid of painful guilt is this: own up to your mistakes, own up to your sins, take responsibility, and do not evade the guilt or try to blame others. Instead, confess your guilt and then repent or make amends by changing your behavior and often by making restitution (more on this later). When we sin, Yah forgives us when we repent and accept Yeshua’s Blood Sacrifice. This happens every time we repent, do teshuva, acknowledge our sins, and turn to Him.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 TLV
However, sin in Hebrew is the word HET, which means “to miss it.” It is like pointing a gun or an arrow at a target, but instead of hitting the intended target, it hits another unintended place. This unintended place where the stray bullet or arrow hits may cause damage. This could be damage to property or to human life. Sin causes damage not only to ourselves, but also to other things or other people. Sin always brings death and destruction.
“For sin’s payment is death, but God’s gracious gift is eternal life in Messiah Yeshua our Lord.” Romans 6:23 TLV
The second step to end the guilt cycle is: As much as it depends on you, make restitution when you harm others, even if you have repented before Yah. When we repent, we receive forgiveness from the Father in Heaven, but we may have to make restitution for people to forgive. If we have caused them property or money damage, money will be needed to make reparations.
“But if indeed it was stolen from him, he is to make restitution to the owner. “If a man borrows anything belonging to his neighbor, and it is harmed or dies in the absence of the owner, he must make full restitution.” Exodus 22:11, 13 TLV
If we harm human life by our emotional, physical, or spiritual behavior, it is much more complex. That is the reason people who murder someone are put in prison for life or even suffer the death penalty.
“But if any harm follows, then you are to penalize life for life,” Exodus 21:23 TLV
Occasionally, someone that harms someone else obtains a pardon for good behavior when they change their ways. We have an extensive prison ministry and hundreds of Bible School students behind bars—some in maximum security facilities and even on death row.
The crimes of many of them are considered quite terrible, like sex predators, scammers, hackers, robbers, rapists, and murderers. Many are suffering long or even life sentences. Some of them are waiting for their date of execution. But these men and women have fully repented and have obtained full forgiveness for their sins from the Father in Heaven, and they are filled with the Holy Spirit as they have made Yeshua the King of their lives. They are sons and daughters of the Living God!
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Messiah Yeshua. For the law of the Spirit of life in Messiah Yeshua has set you free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2 TLV
They do their best to walk in a manner pleasing to Him, obeying His Commandments, and doing good to others. Yah has forgiven them, we love them and minister to them, but the system and society have not forgiven them. Many of them will end their lives behind bars. The sins they have committed still have consequences; their children are hurting, their families are hurting, and the communities they come from are hurting. And there is a great possibility that their families, communities, and society will never forgive them. Are they doomed to live a life under the excruciating pain of guilt?
The Torah says an eye for an eye, life for life, but how can you measure emotional or spiritual damage? Our sins can cause a lifetime of emotional damage to our loved ones. Will our guilt be in perpetuity?
“Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will you be to me like a deceitful brook, like waters that fail?” Jeremiah 15:18 ESV
Will we ever escape the pointing of the finger toward us because of our past sins? And what about our own finger blaming ourselves?
“For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me. My strength was drained as in the droughts of summer. Selah Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not hide my iniquity. I said: “I confess my transgressions to Adonai,” and You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah So let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found. When great floodwaters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place— You will protect me from distress. You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah” Psalms 32:4-7 TLV
I have concluded that after we repent and change our ways, plus try our best to rectify the wrong done, we need to forgive ourselves. Yes, we need to release ourselves from our own pointing finger.
Let me give you a personal example: Right after the father of my children and I got divorced, Yeshua appeared to me at the waters of the Sea of Galilee. This led to my radical salvation and infilling with the Holy Spirit and fire.
Our divorce was on the grounds of adultery. My ex-husband had been mentally sick and made my life miserable. I ended up in the arms of another at the lowest point of my life, trying to find answers to my troubles through an Ouija board. I was managing our two children (one newly born), my two health food stores, and all the responsibility of household and finances. He was completely dysfunctional and refused help.
After I broke down, he temporarily recovered, took the kids to his parents, and filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery. I confessed my sin before the Rabbinical Court, and he got custody of the children. This is a very short summary of the terrible tragedy of my life that ended in my glorious salvation. You can read my testimony book, YES! for the full story.
Right after Yeshua saved me, I went to my ex-husband and offered to be a maid to him and the children until they were 18 years old so they would have a mother and not only grandparents. My son was one year old, and my daughter was five. I was committing myself for the next 17 years to serve them as a housekeeper or a maid to make restitution for my sins. I was not even asking him to remarry me.
But his answer was a resolute NO! The reason was that I was a radical believer in Yeshua. Even being a Jew, he was willing to accept me if I had become a nominal Christian. But there was no chance he would let me live with the children as a born-again, spirit-filled Messianic believer.
Right after his refusal of my offer of restitution, Yeshua gave me open visions and told me that He was sending me to preach the Gospel to the nations.
“I am as forgotten as a dead man. I have become like a broken vessel. For I have heard the whispering of many. There is terror on every side as they conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I have trusted in You, Adonai. I said: “You are my God.” Psalms 31:13-15 TLV
From that moment on, everyone accused me of abandoning my children, and every woe they had ever suffered was always attributed to me. I was guilty, and the father, who was mentally sick, dysfunctional, abusive, and even violent at times, was never blamed for anything. Even after he ended up killing himself and leaving the children broken for life, he was never blamed. It was all my fault forever; there would be no forgiveness for me. My children heard this charade day and night, day after day: It is all because of your wayward mother and her faith, her God that she serves. All your sufferings are because of her.
No one took into consideration “both sides of the coin”, or my generous offer of restitution that was declined. I could never be forgiven. I spent 30 years after this man committed suicide catering to my children’s emotional needs despite the courts of Israel denying me access to them because of my faith. I have bent over backward to help make them well to no avail. Deep within them, they blamed me and my God for all their woes! How do you live under such weight? How have I lived under such weight?
“If only my grief could be weighed and my calamity placed on the scales.” Job 6:2 TLV
I have had my moments of deep pain, grief, and mourning, but I have made my decision. I will follow Yeshua to the end and will never look back. I know I am forgiven by Yah, and I have forgiven myself, for there is no one that has no sin. Yeshua had to die and pay the price because we all need Him. Those that are unable to forgive the sins of others are to be pitied the most. In fact, unforgiveness, self-righteousness, and blame-shifting make people mentally sick and tormented. They are the most deceived! For when you point a finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing right back at you!
“And Yeshua answered and said to them, “Those who are healthy have no need for a doctor, but those who are sick do. I did not come to call the righteous, but the sinful to repentance.” Luke 5:31-32 TLV
We are all in the same boat! We are all part of broken humanity. Yes! Even the best of us have missed the target and have hurt Elohim and other humans.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. They are set right as a gift of His grace, through the redemption that is in Messiah Yeshua. God set forth Yeshua as an atonement, through faith in His blood, to show His righteousness in passing over sins already committed. Through God’s forbearance, He demonstrates His righteousness at the present time—that He Himself is just and also the justifier of the one who puts his trust in Yeshua.” Romans 3:23-26 TLV
To sum it all up: To walk whole in spite of all of society and family pointing the finger against you, you must:
- Own up to your sin and change your ways.
- Confess and repent to God through the Blood sacrifice of Yeshua, His Son.
- Confess and repent before men.
- Offer to make restitution.
- If your family or other people refuse to forgive you, you must endure it and forgive them for their unforgiveness.
- Forgive yourself and release yourself from your judgment.
- Move on to obey Yeshua’s call in your life without looking back.
- When the painful memories come, invite the Ruach Hakodesh to help you pray, to comfort your heart, or ask others to pray for you.
- Remember that we all have past lives, past sins, and many regrets. Be kind to yourself and to others.
- Choose to love unconditionally those that constantly blame you but do not compromise your faith to please them.
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself as having taken hold of this. But this one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal for the reward of the upward calling of God in Messiah Yeshua.” Philippians 3:13-14 TLV
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